|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| im broken. going to boston. | | |
| a break from the insanity. the madness of life. the rat race where no one ever really wins. or do they? perspective is wet clay, and once you mold it and allow it to settle and dry in your mind, the only way to restructure is to smash it and start from scratch. in life there really aren't second chances. the remote was purposely built with no rewind. so do you jump headfirst and worry about whats at the bottom once you get there? there will never be a 'perfect' time to act..
how dope would it be if you didn't have to conform to society's social standards?
rules are made to be broken. but whose rules are we following?
ambition is a double edged sword. a light like any light. stare at it long enough and it's sure to blind you. then you began to make up your own reality because you can no longer see clearly.
is it worth it?
| | |
| it takes a certain type of individual to get me.
you could say my way of going about things arent the most traditional.. and im one of those ppl that you're either going to really love or simply hate. i learned not to care quite some time ago. i dont try to purposely be different.. i dont make my decisions based on what would be socially accepted. love is one of those foreign islands to me that i know exists, but im not sure ive actually traveled there. realistically you can never be content if you have no idea what you desire. just like you would never know if you reached a goal or milestone in life if you never defined what those stops are. im a free-sailing person. i take the good and bad weather with the same level of enthusiasm. i appreciate those that have wronged me, because it taught me a lot about life and ppl that i would never be able to grasp by simply reading a book. im closed off. an oyster in its shell.. but beneath the surface there are valuable gems to be found. ppl confuse my confidence with cockiness. they describe my lack of connecting with ppl as lazy. i may not know everything that i DO want, but im quite familiar with what i dont.. and i dont have a desire to impress. i dont have a desire to go above and beyond when it comes to making someone happy. i dont desire to spend every waking second of my day taking walks in the park at sunset. these are things that just dont have the same luster anymore... you become jaded. no one wants to know the tricks behind the magic.. no one wants to know the inner working of theme parks.. everyone wants to be fooled. you want to fit into the matrix. you get to a point where even if its something you dont genuinely desire, you go for it simply to please the masses. that has to be a terrible way to live and i want no parts of it. i think i just want a friend. friend doesnt come with the strings that say "you have to be THIS person to be my friend" having a friend doesnt limit your conversation to things that only appeal to the other person and "safe" topics that are sure not to offend. having a friend takes away the need to constantly have to be emotionally available. this may seem like a safe hiding spot.. and maybe i am hiding.. | | |
| sometimes words just get in the way. | | |
| anger and frustration are powerful emotions. when you are engulfed in them, all rationale seems to cease and you make decisions and act on thoughts that may be tainted by the situation at hand. frustration can be a powerful tool for growth also. it can cause you to be ingenious and figure out solutions to ease the problem that you may not have come up with had you been in a better state of mind.
im stuck in the middle of nowhere.. finding comfort in comfortable situations but at the same time wishing for problems that would draw me to make better, less time wasting plays in this game called chess. i wish for things that even if available, im not sure i would take. i fantasize about better days, knowing no amount of success or money would solve my internal problems. i wish ppl understood, but understanding would take away the need to close myself off from the world
pardon the rambling, im intoxicated at the moment
bad habits for me make good habits because they take away the stress that would allow me to BE stressed.it may not might not make alot of sense, but if i didnt have my hideaways and getaways from the real problems at hand id probably be more in the moment and see things as they were. its a catch 22 of sorts when you know the solution ahead of time, but for one reason or another, you refuse to use it and just end up walking down a...
fuck it.
be back when im sober.
| | |
|
